Thursday, February 20, 2014

Where Have All The Flowers Gone? The Top 10 Songs About Flowers

1.  (Nothing But) Flowers - Talking Heads
2.  In The Flowers - Animal Collective
3.  Dead Flowers - The Rolling Stones
4.  Flowers on the Wall - Statler Brothers
5.  Flower's Grave - Tom Waits
6.  Flowers in December - Mazzy Star
7.  Flowers of Romance - Public Image LTD.
8.  Kiss From A Rose - Seal
9.  Blue Flowers - Dr. Octagon
10.  Tiptoe Through The Tulips - Tiny Tim

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I Like My Sugar With Coffee & Cream: The Top 10 Songs About Coffee

I'm trying new things.  I just tried David Lynch coffee.  It was okay.  Also I'm gonna experiment this time by giving you guys something to read, even if it ruins the tongue-in-cheek nature of this blog.  If you like it, send me an e-mail at  If you hate it, continue ignoring me.

1.  "One More Cup of Coffee (Live)" - Bob Dylan
Trying new things here.  I know my bit is reserving the 10th spot for Dylan, but any performance on Bootleg #5 is pretty much guaranteed a top spot.

2.  "Cigarettes & Coffee" - Otis Redding
Just heard this song now and it blew my goddamn mind.

3.  "Bring Me Coffee or Tea" - Can
Awesome song that really channels that intense psychedelic high you get when you drink coffee or tea.

4.  "Coffee & TV" - Blur
This is a good song, especially if you watched Cruel Intentions a few too many times as a horny teenager.

5.  "Cup of Coffee" - Johnny Cash
Awesome song that really channels that intense high you get when you drink coffee with a friend.

6.  "Coffee House Blues" - Lightnin' Hopkins
Mama just wants some coffee, but if she would just shut her mouth, he'd buy her a whole coffee house!

7.  "Java Jive" - The Ink Spots
Can't believe I almost forgot the Java Jive, the Ink Spots' laziest song.

8.  "You're So Vain" - Carly Simon
I don't think this song is about coffee, but she talks about there being clouds in her coffee an awful lot.

9.  "One More Cup of Coffee" - The White Stripes
One more version of this song before I go.

10.  "Coffee" - Michael Showalter
Ok this last one isn't a song, but it's my favorite track on any comedy album.

Stay tuned for the top 10 songs about Cigarettes...

Saturday, August 10, 2013

This Must Be The Place: Top 10 Songs About Houses

Just moved into a wonderful new house.  Houses are important because that's where you keep your stuff.  It's also where you go to sleep at night unless you GET LUCKY.

Here's the top 10 house songs because who gives a shit.

Note:  David Byrne is pretty much the authority on songs about houses, buildings, et all.  That said, I omitted "Burning Down the House" because who gives a shit.

1.  House of Jealous Lovers - The Rapture
2.  Glass Concrete and Stone - David Byrne
3.  House Where Nobody Lives - Tom Waits
4.  Is This What You Wanted? - Leonard Cohen
5.  Mansion on the Hill - Bruce Springsteen
6.  Our House - Madness
7.  Your House - Steel Pulse
8.  Little Boxes - Pete Seeger
9.  Home - LCD Soundsystem
10.  House of the Rising Sun - Bob Dylan

Friday, June 28, 2013

I'm In Love With My Car - The Top 10 Songs About Cars (Or How Girls Are Kinda Like Cars or How Cars Are Kinda Like Girls)

It's been a little over a year since I've done one of these. But hey, I bought a car and
these are some pretty good songs about cars.  I can't for the life of me figure out what the hell "Jeepster" is about though. I guess he's the car? I don't know..

Anyway here it is. Yes, Low Rider is on the list. Yes, I would turn off Low Rider immediately if it came on the radio. Whatever. At some point it was a badass song to me, that's gotta count for something.

The Top 10 Songs About Cars

 1. "Ol' 55" - Tom Waits
 2. "Fast Car" - Tracy Chapman
 3. "Panama" - Van Halen
 4. "Little Red Corvette" - Prince
 5. "Jeepster" - T. Rex
 6. "Cars" - Gary Numan
 7. "Bimmer" - Tyler the Creator
 8. "Low Rider" - War
 9. "Police Truck" - Dead Kennedys
 10. "Dodge Veg-o-Matic" - Jonathan Richman

Monday, April 2, 2012

I'm On A Boat: The Top 10 Songs About Boats

I would sincerely like to apologize for not being able to provide a link for "When The Ship Comes In." I dare you to waft through the hundreds of Dylan covers looking for one. Waft away, waft away, waft away...

1. "Come Sail Away" - Styx
2. "Yellow Submarine" - The Beatles
3. "Proud Mary" - Ike & Tina Turner
4. "The Anchor" - The Minutemen
5. "Orinoco Flow" - Enya
6. "Sloop John B" - The Beach Boys
7. "Sail Away" - Randy Newman
8. "Rock The Boat" - The Hues Corporation
9. "Boat on the River" - Styx
10. "When The Ship Comes In" - Bob Dylan

Honorable Mentions:
"Wooden Ships" - Jefferson Airplane
"Longer Boats" - Cat Stevens

Stay Tuned For...
The Top 10 Songs About Bodies of Water

Thursday, March 29, 2012

It's The End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) - Top 10 Songs About The End of the World

In honor of the topic for our coming appearance on this weekend's TESLA, here are the top 10 songs about our impending doom. In case of emergency, duck under table, put hands over back of neck, and put on these songs by these Nostradomi.

1. "Gimme Shelter" - Rolling Stones
2. "(Nothing But) Flowers" - Talking Heads
3. "When The Man Comes Around" - Johnny Cash
4. "The Earth Died Screaming" - Tom Waits
5. "Five Years" - David Bowie
6. "Wooden Ships" - Jefferson Airplane
7. "Doomsday" - Elvis Perkins
8. "Attack of the Giant Ants" - Blondie
9. "1999" - Prince
10. "Talkin' World War III Blues" - Bob Dylan

Honorable Mentions:
"Let Me Die (In My Footsteps)" - Bob Dylan
"A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall" - Bob Dylan

Stay Tuned for:
The Top 10 Songs About Boats

Note - "The End" by The Doors is a break-up song. So is this.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Fear Not Of Man: The Top 10 Songs About Fear

1. "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" - Blue Oyster Cult
2. "Fear Is A Man's Best Friend" - John Cale
3. "Waves of Fear" - Lou Reed
4. "Scared" - John Lennon
5. "Don't Be Scared" - Yoko Ono
6. "Enter Sandman" - Metallica
7. "Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps)" - David Bowie
8. "I'm Afraid of Americans" - David Bowie & Trent Reznor
9. "I'm So Afraid" - Fleetwood Mac
10. "Never Scared" - Bone Crusher ft. Killer Mike & T.I.

Stay Tuned For:
Man's Best Friend: The Top 10 Songs About Dogs...